Remembering September 11, 2001

I have never written about this day before. Not even last year, when it was the ten-year anniversary of the tragedy, and I lived in New York. I'm writing this for my children, so they will know what it was like to hear the news, see the footage, and how it felt. There are historic moments, both good and bad, that are personal and powerful, which have a collective effect upon a nation or a country. This was one such moment.

On September 11, 2001, I was 24 years old and had been married to my husband for 3 1/2 years. We lived in Provo, Utah (395. N 800 W.) I had graduated from Brigham Young University 2 years earlier. My husband was attending graduate school at BYU. My oldest son was 23 months old and my second son was 2 months old. My house was a disaster that morning. I had been neglecting my household chores, but woke up that morning determined to tackle the mess of dishes in my kitchen and make some order in my house. I was listening to a book on tape, washing dishes, while my baby lay in a bouncer and my toddler was playing around my feet.

The phone rang, interrupting my work. I stopped my tape, and answered the phone. "Hello," I answered.

"Tiffany, this is Christina. Turn on the TV now. Someone is attacking America," my friend practically barked this across the lines.

Stunned, I wasn't sure how to respond to this news. I turned on the television and watched the footage unveiling on the TV. It was shocking and horrifying to watch the World Trade Center Towers collapse, to see the smoke billowing from the tragedy, and later to learn of the attack on the Pentagon, and another plane crashing.

I trembled in fear at the horrific vision unfolding before me on the television. It was not a blockbuster film but reality. My children felt my fear and were both fussy and clingy for the rest of the day. The TV stayed on all day so I wouldn't miss any news.

My husband had been at school all day, and as we were poor college students and cell phones were an unnecessary luxury, I couldn't contact him. Two of my sisters were also at school at BYU. I was scared and worried.

One of my dearest friends lived in New York City and her husband worked for a financial company. I had no idea if he had an office in those buildings. So I started to call her, but the circuits were busy. Eventually, I was able to reach her and learned that, to my relief, that both she and her husband were okay.

That evening, my husband and I invited my sisters and their rommates over to our home to watch the news, eat dinner, and regroup.

Over the next few weeks, we scoured the news for information and learned more details of what happened. I attended Memorial Services given by churches. Sometimes I would take my little boys outside and noticed how a plane passing overhead would make my heart start pounding.

Nearly a month later after the attacks I was watching LDS General Conference, while President Gordon B. Hinckley was speaking and he interrupted his talk with a note that was passed to him and said that the United States military had launched an offensive against Afghanistan.

And thus began a period of wars that haven't ceased in the Middle East for eleven years. I had no idea then how much of my life would actually connect with the Middle East. In the days following 9/11 patriotic fervor was at a fever pitch. Flags were flown at homes. Patriotic music blared from homes and cars. And we all tried to make sense of it. Ugly attacks were perpetrated against Muslims across the United States.

I was troubled by the attacks, hoping that surely while they are zealots and fanatics in every religion, we shouldn't define religion based on the nut jobs. But I didn't know any Muslims personally.

A year later, we moved to Sweden, and throughout our 5 1/2 years in the country, we met several Muslim families, mostly families that had come to Sweden to study or to escape violence and government instability in their home countries. This move was the first of many. Now, in Saudi Arabia, we are again learning more and experiencing Muslim culture in a completely different way. Through these experiences, I've discovered that the actions of a few fanatics definitely shouldn't define an entire religion or the millions of Muslims in the world.

I've changed a lot since that fateful day 11 years ago. I didn't see all the complexities and conflict in the world  as I do now.

As I reflect on that day, I feel sorrow for the men and women who died. I honor the heroes who risked their lives to save others. I marvel at the generosity of New Yorkers and their amazing capacity to unite and work together to help each other. I sorrow at the eleven years that our country has spent at war in the Middle East. And I keep hoping that we can end all these conflicts with one another and achieve peace.

For more images about September 11, 2011, you can go here
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Strange But True Things About Life in Saudi Arabia

So its been awhile since I've posted about life here in good ol' KSA. Here are some strange, but true things about this country that aren't necessarily worth a whole blog post on their own, but as a group, count as a whole post. This post was compiled with the help of my oldest son, who is 12 years old.

1) There are probably more Krispy Kreme stores/kiosks per capita in Riyadh than any city in the USA. I don't have any data or statistics that would back me up. But judging by the number of Krispy Kreme kiosks in just one mall, I don't mind making that claim.

2) Malls are weirdly quiet here. Stores don't blare competing and annoying music. And the people don't talk very loudly.

3) The sanitary disposal bins in women's bathrooms are marked with a tampon symbol, but as far as I know, you can't buy tampons in KSA. Don't ask me why because I have no idea.  (ETA: Yesterday I was at the pharmacy at the Hayat Mall and found they had a few boxes of tampons. This is the first time I have ever seen tampons at a pharmacy or grocery store. Still, I don't think you can buy them everywhere.)

4) There are corn-in-the-cup stands all over--and potato-on-a-stick. Saudis like their corn and potatoes.

5) They have stores called Pizza Inn and Taco Hut.

6) If the fast food restaurants get run out of business in the U.S. from all the outrage about transfast and other stuff, they'll be fine because they have a firm foothold in KSA.

7) The main entertainment choices for people seem to be either malls or food.

8) Bookstores don't usually have very many books--and the books that are available seem to mostly focus on the Koran. My son pointed out that one bookstore sells more office supplies than books.

9) You can buy an ipod case at pet stores.

10) You can buy dyed chicks at pet stores. (This just makes me sad.)

11) Kiosks are more common than vending machines.

12) Water is insanely cheap. I think artificially so. It usually costs 1 riyal for a bottle of water, which is about 33 cents.

13) This one comes from my son--you can find cutting edge technology and old technology really easily, but finding the stuff in between is hard.

14) The arctic wolf is an endangered animal in Saudi Arabia.

15) There are baboons living in the desert.

16) During Ramadan, our compound has shopping buses that go out from 8:45 PM to 11:45 PM.  Yes, you read that right. I thought it was a typo at first, but the malls stay open very late at night during Ramadan.

Swimming Like Little Fish

When we first moved to Riyadh, my two youngest kids were terrified to get in the pool. Really terrified. They would cling to me and sob when we got in the water. My littlest one would shake when the waves started at the wave pool. I honestly felt discouraged about their fear. Here we are, in Riyadh, living on a compound of about 1000 people, with not one, but 5 pools. FIVE pools! And the weather is warm and swim-friendly for 10 months of the year.

They barely agreed to let me step away from them to take this shot.

Eventually, I found some life jackets for both of them at a store. This helped a lot. Soon they were willing to let us get within arm's length of them.

And now, 6 months later, they are little fish. Really! It is amazing.

Bubba J paddles and kicks along with confidence throughout the whole pool. He puts his face in the water, blows bubbles, and jumps in the pool like a pro. My favorite part of his little swimming is how he puts his face and body in the water like a little turtle, paddles like mad, and then lifts his face up and breathes frantically. Really, it is adorable.

And my daughter has grown the most. For a long time, she has clung to her life jacket. But now, with  swimming lessons from her dad, she zips along in the shallow part of the pool, sans life jacket. And she floats! I'm so proud of her.








Now that A and Bubba J are more independent in the water, it makes playing in the pool so much more fun!

Carpet Buying

Virtually every bazaar I've been to has at least one, if not two, carpet dealers. The dealers roll out their carpets, lining them up against walls or outside on sidewalks to showcase their wares. The carpets are beautiful, with gorgeous colors and patterns. But beyond the visual beauty of the carpets, is the stunning feel of the carpets--sometimes soft silk or a silk and wool blend. Of course, you can buy practical wool in gorgeous patterns.

At the last coffee morning of the season, before most expats flee the country in droves, I saw a carpet dealer and decided to stop and look at his carpets. They were so beautiful. And it occurred to me that I have bought very few pieces of furniture or household items in my lifetime. I'm not kidding. We bought a used couch while living in Sweden that we sold or gave away when we moved. We bought beds for everyone when we moved back to the States. I found a beautiful used dining room set. Other than that, most items were given to us. It's time to move beyond hand-me-downs. I've been married for 14 years. We've paid off our debts, are living simply and on a budget, and we have savings. So I decided it was time to buy a carpet.

A funny thing happens though when you make such a big purchase. It is nerve-wracking. After spending some time with the dealer, I wasn't ready to make such a big purchase without my husband. I asked the dealer if we could visit his shop. He has a shop in the Diplomatic Quarter, but he offered to bring a selection of carpets to our villa so we could choose there. We set up an appointment and then I left with a couple of small carpets to try out.

I loved the carpets when I got them home, but they weren't the right size or colors that we wanted. So I waited for our appointment with Mr. Ahmed, carpet dealer. On Tuesday evening, Mr. Ahmed brought a huge truck filled with carpets in 4 different sizes for us to look at. His assistant carried in rolls of carpets and laid them out for us to inspect.

The selection was overwhelming. Most of the carpets were made in Kashmir, Pakistan. Mr. Ahmed and his brothers, come from Pakistan. They travel around Kashmir and buy carpet made by craftsmen in small villages and then import them into Saudi Arabia. All the carpets I looked at were handmade. They came in three different selections: silk, silk/wool, and wool. Then the patterns and colors were exquisite. The intriguing thing about the color patterns is that when you look at the carpet from one direction, it will be dark. Looking at it from the opposite direction, the colors will turn light.

The carpet designs are named after the areas in which the originated. There is the traditional Iranian/Persian design which most of us are familiar with and then there are designs made in small villages around Kashmir. The dealer showed me a small video he took on his cell phone of a man making a carpet. You can't even begin to imagine the time that it takes to make even a small section of the carpet.

After 2 hours of looking through carpets, we decided on two beautiful carpets that we think will last us forever. In our living room, we have a handmade, silk, blue carpet that has a traditional Persian design. And in our bedroom, we have a silk/wool red carpet in a modern design made in Kashmir.

It was such an adventure.

How to Adapt to Living Abroad: Part 1

One comment I frequently get from family, friends, and acquaintances about living abroad is that I must be so brave. Honestly, the comment puzzles me because I don't feel particularly brave. Granted, I enjoy living in different countries. I find it exciting and stimulating. But I also think that there are skills you can develop to help you enjoy the experience. Here are some of the skills I think are essential to not only survive in a foreign country, but thrive.

1) Accept that life will be different in a foreign country.
I know it sounds silly to say that because you probably all know that. But understanding that on an intellectual level is not the same as accepting it. Life in a foreign country does not have to be the same as your home country to be good. You will experience differences all the time. You have a choice when you acknowledge those differences. You can allow those differences to oppress you or you can acknowledge them, adjust to them, and move on with your life.

2) Accept that you can dislike (even hate) things about the foreign country, but still enjoy living there.
There were things that drove me crazy about Sweden. But I loved living there. The same can be said for Saudi Arabia. There are some things that disturb me deeply. But regardless of those issues, I still like Saudi Arabia. I guess I can still enjoy life in Saudi Arabia because I know my time here isn't permanent.

3) Take the opportunity to explore the country, learn some history, and learn some of the culture.
You need context when you live in a foreign country. Cultural practices which can be very baffling make more sense when given context. For instance, while I don't love wearing the abaya, understanding the context behind it--religious, historical, and cultural, at least gives me some background. Sometimes things about Saudi culture seems so contradictory and confusing. It helps me immensely when I place those confusing things in the scope of the short history of the nation of Saudi Arabia (which is actually a relatively new country--though a very old culture.) Consider this: in your own country there are things that would be difficult to understand if you didn't already know the context. You have to learn the context when you live in another country.

4) Try the local foods.
You don't have to try everything, and you most certainly don't even to have to like what you try, but do TRY some of the local foods. Local foods actually tell a lot about a country's history and culture. For example, many of the food traditions in Sweden stem from religious practices during the Middle Ages. When Sweden changed from Catholicism to the Lutheran church, they still retained many of the food traditions. When I eat pea soup with pancakes on Thursday, I'm actually eating a bit of history and culture. The same can be said for food in Saudi Arabia. The food reflects the agriculture, trading, and historical practices of the region. Even the food in the U.S. reflects interesting things about our culture: the multi-cultural nature of the country, historical practices that stemmed from huge social changes following World War 2, and the role that big corporations play in our diet.
So consider trying the local food as a means to understand the culture better.

I'll continue this series in later posts.

What skills have you developed traveling or living abroad? What do you think is essential to not only surviving but thriving in a different country?