Bubba J Adjusts

Bubba J tromps along on the sidewalk, holding my hand. He chatters to me happily as we walk. It occurs to me that he has adapted to this new country remarkably well.

2011 was a strange year for our family. We had anticipated our move to KSA for a long time. And yet our way was littered with roadblocks that invevitably brought a great deal of stress to my husband and I. We packed and moved twice last year. We spent an entire month visiting family, while we stressed about finding a short-term lease. My husband traveled a lot during that year.

As we finally managed to move to Saudi Arabia, I wondered how my two-year old would deal with yet another move. But honestly, I think he is doing incredibly well.

He went from sleeping in a crib, to sleeping in a big boy bed. He took to that change like a duck to water. When we arrived at our new home, he took in his surroundings and immediately started playing with his stuff. It was like he realized "finally! we are all together."

He hasn't complained since. What is there for a two-year old to complain about? The weather is nice enough that we go outside everyday, without the encumberances of a coat or boots. He goes swimming frequently. We have three playgrounds we can walk to within 2 minutes. And he sees his daddy every single day.

Yes, life is pretty darn good for a two-year old boy--even living in Saudi Arabia.

Buying a Car

My husband drives 45 km outside of Riyadh to the desert where he works long hours in the sun, working on his solar project. It's a long drive and he, ever the independent, chafes at being unable to get around on his own schedule. (I have to say that I am dealing with not being able to drive FAR better than he could handle it.)

When we first arrived in Riyadh, my husband took a taxi a few times out to the solar village, but eventually, he got so annoyed with it and having to wait for our car allowance that he rented a car. This is completely out of character for him as he hates to spend money on things like that.
It took some time for our car allowance to be delivered. When it was finally deposited in our account, my husband was ready to go shopping THAT day.

We had done some online searching on a local "craigslist" type of service. We found a car that had potential, but the owner wasn't willing to barter about the price. Since his asking price was out of our budget, we walked away.

Just for kicks, we looked at a couple of car dealerships. Women are allowed to go in these dealerships, but I did get some funny looks from the salesmen when I went with my husband. I am sure the salesmen are used to western women having some knowledge about cars. I generally try not to think about not driving here--as it only serves to frustrate me. However, seeing those beautiful shiny cars, made me long to test out at least one car. I'm curious if it would be possible for me to drive out in the desert. Hmmm. . . must inquire further. We weren't really serious about buying a car at a dealership either. The prices were WAY out of our budget and it is silly to buy or lease a new car when you are only going to have it for a year.

Our next stop was a used-car dealership--where we found a place that had a car that met all our requirements: 7 seats, sturdy SUV body, and of course, a price that fit in our budget. The dealership told us they had two 2008 Nissan pathfinders parked in another lot that we could try. They gave us directions and off we went.

One thing you should know about Riyadh is that you can go from one fairly nice section, to being in a slum-like area within a few blocks. As we drove through the city, we began to see fewer "pretty" areas and started to get into a more "industrial" area. Finally, we found the lot, in this appalling quarter with rubbish piles everywhere. My father owns a construction company and I thought I was thoroughly versed in grease, grime, dirt and dust. I was wrong. For a former grease monkey, I found some of the lots appalling. Fortunately, the cars we wanted to look at were parked in a relatively clean shelter. Compared to the other lots, this particular lot could have passed the white glove test, figuratively (definitely NOT literally), but sometimes comparisons are helpful when you want to endure something.

We found the two Nissan Pathfinders and chose the car that looked in better shape. Dh test-drove the car around the block. Given our time and budget limits, we felt like this car would be fine.

My husband took me home and returned to the car dealership to buy the car. I thought he would drive home the new car that night. Not so. The car had to pass an inspection before we could pick it up. A few days later, we get a call from the place saying the tires were bad and so it didn't pass the inspection. We knew the tires needed replacing. We said, "replace the tires and we'll pay the additional money." Seems logical, right? Well, nothing is logical in this country. Rather than putting new tires on the car, they switched tires from the other Nissan to our car, temporarily, so it would pass the inspection. Then the brakes needed fixing. This time, they couldn't fake that repair and so actually did it.

Two weeks later, all the inspections were completed and we were allowed to pick up the car. We still need to get new tires, but we all fit, safely in the car. It has enough oomph to survive on the brutal streets, and if we are in a collision, I'm pretty sure we'll survive.

I much prefer buying a car in the U.S.

Healthcare in a foreign country

One tricky thing any foreigner has to navigate is health care. If you have children, chances are high that you will have to visit a doctor at some point. Thus far, I haven't been terribly impressed with the health care in this country. I'm still talking to people about doctors. And I've received a few recommendations.
In the past few weeks, we've had a few instances of accidents and illnesses. I took my daughter to the doctor once but really wasn't impressed. (Of course, it didn't help that when we took her to the doctor, her symptoms disappeared.) Yesterday both my son and my daughter hit their heads pretty hard and cracked them open a bit. My son has a gash, but he wasn't bleeding profusely and the gash didn't look deep or wide. I really wanted to avoid a visit to the emergency room as people have repeatedly told me that it will be a bad experience. My daughter was hit by a bicycle and has a pretty large goose egg on the back of her head. Both are doing fine.
If I were in the U.S., I would have run my son to the pediatricianm but that just isn't an option.
Today, I noticed that my daughter has a rash on her body. I should probably get that checked out, which means I'm going to be making some calls. Sigh. . . hope I can find a good doctor.

The best part of being at an international school is. . .

the global diversity.

Our transition to this new school was rocky. It has taken me some time to get over some of my frustrations with the school.

However, I have no complaints about how the school handles its international designation. They celebrate it!
My son and four classes celebrated some of the folk traditions of Saudi Arabia and then introduced us to the international diversity of the students. I loved how the children celebrated their home countries and taught us lessons of acceptance and tolerance for different cultures and traditions.

Cultural Differences

I apologize for my frequent references to my experiences in Sweden. I refer to them because they are relevant to particular experiences I am currently having. They also give me a frame of reference when I am baffled by something in this strange and exotic land.
When we moved to Sweden, things were a bit deceptive there. For the most part, Swedish culture felt similar to American culture. People wore the same kind of clothing. You could catch American television with Swedish subtitles any night of the week. Likewise, American music and fast food could be found easily. Swedes speak English with an astonishing amount of fluency.
All of these similarities really tricked me into thinking that our cultures were almost identical. Now I see that it was a naive judgment. As my stay in Sweden progressed, I began to realize the subtleties (and I'm sure I'm still on the outside) and complexities of Swedish culture. No matter how similar the U.S. and Sweden are, there are significant differences, which, if you really want to learn to enjoy the country fully, you must learn so that you can navigate through without too many embarrassing collisions.
Now living in KSA, it is easy to assume that the U.S. and Saudi Arabia are so different culturally that we have no commonalities. After all, one only need walk around a mall to realize you are a in very different place--despite the designer and luxury stores. Seeing women stroll around in black abayas, heads covered, and faces veiled, is a pretty stark reminder that culturally, the U.S. is light years away from this place.
In trying to understand these differences, and also, hopefully, to discover commonalities, I've been studying a couple of books, that hopefully, are accurate. Understanding Arabas: A Guide for Modern Times, 4th Edition by Margaret K. Nydell, looks at the Arab people as a whole, giving general information about cultural customs and, to some extent, insights into religious practices and how they relate to daily living. The Essential Guide to Customs and Culture for Saudi Arabia, is a more country-specific guide. I think it is especially interesting for the business man or woman as it gives really direct advice and insight. (Again, I hope this is a credible source.)
So far, both books have been helpful. My husbands works closely with many Saudis. My husband and I have been discussing the things I'm learning and have found many specific instances where it has been useful.
Sadly, my interaction with Saudis is limited. I'm observing as much as I can, venturing to speak when I think appropriate, and studying all available material. We have been invited to stay with two different Saudi families in Jeddah--invitations we intend on accepting as it provides a rare opportunity to get a better understanding of this really different culture.
In the meantime, I continue to observe as intently as I can. At this stage of the game, I want to learn more and get a better understanding for the reasons behind various cultural aspects that I observe. I promise to share my insights.
What do you know about Saudi Arabia? What aspects of their culture do you find perplexing or interesting?

Random thoughts and blog teasers

* So I haven't blogged in a few days--not for lack of experiences. On the contrary, the new experiences have been coming fast and hard. On top of that, I'm still a mom to 5 kids. So when I finish some interesting and fun activity or an interesting but rather less than fun activity, I still have to go home, make dinner, nag my children through their homework, and then get them to bed. Then I have to get myself to bed. . .
*Have I mentioned that we get up at 5:30 a.m. now? I know millions of people get up at 5:30 a.m., and some of them even like it. I had hoped that I had at least one or two years reprieve before we started that part of our lives. But here it is and I'm still adjusting. I am most definitely not a morning person. But sometimes you have no choice. Well, I do. But my choice is have the kids miss the bus if I sleep in. And that really isn't a good option for all concerned.
For my sake, here are some things I need/want to post about in the next few days.
*Picture buying a car in a foreign country. Now imagine what it is like to go to a dealership, where women are practically forbidden from entering the doors, and think of the looks a woman will get for stepping across the halllowed threshold. (FWIW, the looks were priceless!) Then imagine driving to the seediest part of the town (so I wasn't doing the driving, my husband was) and taking at the look at the car the dealer recommended. The car was great, the locale wasn't. More to follow. . .
*I'll take a minute to wax a bit sentimental about the good things an international school offers to kids. Imagine my little T wearing traditional Saudi clothing and doing a sword dance. Awesome!
*More griping about shopping and meaningless pursuit of it. . . And I spend some time asking what Saudi women do. Unfortunately, I don't have good answers.
*A different take on shopping--a least bazaar shopping with Saudi vendors--significantly more interesting than designer clothing shopping for which I have no money or interest.
*My new rep on the compound--let me give you a hint--it has to do with family size. (Oh the shock!)
*Remind me to tell you the brief anecdote about the prayer singer (I am sure there is a name for the position) during Ramadan and his voice going out of control. It may not be funny to any of you, especially if you have never heard a call to prayer, but to someone who is familar with the call to prayer, you'll be rolling.
*I am contemplating Petra for my birthday--well, I really can't GET Petra for my birthday, but I sure would like to visit. Thoughts? If you lived in the Middle East, where would you like to go?
*Not sure where Petra is or what it is? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petra
Not sure how accurate the source is, so take it for what it is worth. . .

Sickness. . . bleh!

I've been waiting for the sickness ball to drop around here. My kids were sick a lot our first year in Sweden. When we were in the Middle East 5 years ago, we were hit with some very violent colds. My theory is that when you move somewhere new, you have to get used to the local bugs.

I'm surprised we've escaped colds and stomach bugs so far. But our streak of luck is over. Bubba J is running a fever now and spent last night vomiting. My daughter is complaining of an upset stomach. Good times. I think we'll be having a pj day at our house.